Regaining control over your excessive desire for control
As a psychosocial therapist working with hypnotherapy, I frequently encounter individuals struggling with perfectionism. They want everything to be perfect. In reality, this drive for perfection often leads to increased stress, insecurity, pain and a lack of self-love due to insufficient space to relax and be content. In this blog, I want to show you how perfectionism can hold you back and how you can gain more control over your own life, enhance your self-love, and learn to enjoy life more.
Why is it a problem?
Perfectionism is about the desire to always do things flawlessly. It may seem like a positive trait, but in practice, it often causes more harm than you might think. Striving for the best is not inherently problematic, but when perfectionism becomes extreme, it brings a constant fear of making mistakes and the belief that nothing is ever good enough. These thoughts can lead to stress, procrastination, and even burnout. Perfectionists often struggle to appreciate their accomplishments because they always believe they can do better. This can undermine their sense of self-worth, as success and happiness become dependent on achievements rather than who they truly are.
Building More Confidence
One of the biggest challenges of perfectionism is the need for control. Perfectionists often believe they must control everything to ensure things go right. However, this can lead to excessive stress and the feeling of having no grip on their lives. Trying to control everything around you keeps you trapped in a vicious cycle of uncertainty and fear.
Through hypnotherapy, you can learn to let go of control. By entering a deep state of relaxation, you can uncover subconscious patterns and beliefs that hinder you. You'll not only learn how to reduce perfectionism but also how to trust yourself and life. The idea is to stop fixating on the "perfect" result and instead experience the value of the process itself.
Gaining more self-agency
Hypnotherapy can help you become aware of the subconscious patterns and beliefs that drive your actions. Often, these beliefs were formed in childhood or through past experiences, but they no longer have a solid foundation in your adult life. By letting go of these patterns, you gain more control over your actions and can take charge of your own life.
It's no longer about striving for perfection but about developing a healthier relationship with yourself. It’s about trusting that you are good enough as you are, and that the process is more important than the outcome. This means you’ll live less in anticipation and more in the moment. You don't always need to plan or control everything to be happy. You can give your mind more space to relax, reducing the need for excessive "pre-thinking" or worrying. This allows you to have more energy for other things. By regaining self-agency, you'll allow yourself to enjoy things as they are, instead of constantly focusing on what needs to happen next or what went wrong.
Developing a healthy mindset
Perfectionists are often very hard on themselves, which can lead to feelings of insecurity, fear of failure, or self-criticism. Through hypnotherapy, you can work on strengthening your self-love and self-acceptance. In deep relaxation, you can reconnect with your value and unique qualities, release more of your perfectionism, and create space for a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself.
More confidence, more inner peace
In a world that often focuses on achieving success and avoiding mistakes, we can quickly feel that we need to have everything under control. It becomes a constant struggle to do everything "right," but this battle consumes a lot of energy and takes you out of the moment. By working with hypnotherapy, you’ll not only learn to trust yourself, but also live more in the present moment.
Letting go of perfectionism means you no longer need to overthink and can begin to enjoy what is right in front of you. This is a process of inner peace and trust, where you’re less stuck in the fear of what could go wrong. Instead, you can embrace the moment more often and allow yourself to enjoy the here and now, without always being preoccupied with the future or the past.
What can you expect from hypnotherapy?
If you decide to try hypnotherapy, you can expect several key benefits:
- Build trust in yourself and your abilities.
- Break free from perfectionistic patterns that hold you back.
- Develop more self-compassion and experience less self-criticism.
- Experience less stress by releasing the need to do everything perfectly.
- Enjoy the present moment without constantly overthinking or worrying about the outcome.
Hypnotherapy can be a powerful tool for finding more inner peace. It helps you gain control over your own life, so you can experience more self-agency and be less stuck in thoughts about what might go wrong. The result? A life where you can be more yourself, step into your own power, enjoy the moment more, and trust the process rather than the result.
What can you do on your own right now?
The following tips will help you find more peace and balance:
- Recognize limiting thoughts: As a perfectionist, you are often your own biggest critic. Start by becoming aware of the thoughts you have when things don’t go perfectly. Identify the thoughts that pressure you and replace them with realistic and gentle beliefs that help you view the situation more objectively.
- Set achievable goals: Perfectionists tend to set unrealistically high demands on themselves. Instead of striving for perfection, set achievable, realistic goals that you can reach step by step. This helps you celebrate successes without overwhelming yourself.
- Embrace imperfection: Accept that mistakes and imperfections are part of the process. Be proud of the progress you’ve made, even if it’s not "perfect." Learn from your experiences instead of punishing yourself for things that didn’t go entirely as planned.
- Recognize your qualities and successes: As a perfectionist, you often focus on what can be improved.
- Make a list of your strengths and achievements, no matter how small they seem. Acknowledge and value what you’ve accomplished, instead of only focusing on what isn’t perfect.
- Learn to accept yourself: Perfectionism is often linked with self-criticism. Work on accepting yourself as you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. Remember, no one is perfect, and your worth doesn’t depend on meeting impossible standards.
Are you ready for change?
If you find that perfectionism or fear of failure is getting in the way of your life and you want to regain more control over your own choices, hypnotherapy might be right for you. It’s a powerful way to transform your thoughts and beliefs, so you can live with more confidence and inner peace. Take the first step today toward a life where you can enjoy who you are and what you have.